We have all read the self help books. Watched the female empowerment speakers. Seen the Insta-stories about the importance of being yourself. But do you believe it?
Do you believe in yourself?
Are you happy with your world? Are you happy with what's going on in your life?
How are you going to fix it if your answer was NO to any of those questions?
It's hard. I know for myself personally, I am struggling to find a balance. I am trying to balance the world and sometimes I break. Sometimes I fall. And I am God awful at asking for help, so I crumble.
It's hard having a full time job, a side hustle, writing a blog, being a girlfriend, a friend, a daughter, a granddaughter, and still an independent person. It's tough. There's no denying that.
So I've been asking myself a lot lately. How am I going to fix it?
It's balance. It's finding a balance. It won't be easy, it won't be what I want, but it's what I need. I am terrible awful at asking for help. I'd rather carry the weight of the world than ask for help. Last week I crumbled, because I was too self absorbed to ask Chad to help me with dinner. Stupid DINNER! I couldn't even ask him to do that because I felt like it was my job. He wouldn't have even hesitated if I would've asked, but I couldn't even ask.
Or that I was upset that I had worked a super long day and he got to go snowmobiling all day with his friends. I unintentionally resented him for something that he got to do, but I didn't. I was jealous and instead of just simply taking some time for myself and doing something I'd like to do I took it out on him because I was tired. My fuse was short, and I snapped. I was sad and upset and I didn't know how to control my emotions.
I have been working so hard and so much I lost myself. I was checking things off the "list of the perfect life" and I snapped because I lost sight of the simple act of actually living my life.
I wasn't being present. I wasn't enjoying the things. I was living my life in fast forward, but not enjoying my life.
It's time to find a balance and start living.
Challenge accepted.
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